we are all part stardust♥

I love this boy. Being together for 18 months wasn’t easy. From breaking ups to making ups, crying to laughing, we’ve been through everything.

I met him on the 11 of July 2009. We met at my friend’s 21st party and he was my friend’s bunkmate. I honestly didn’t remember his name initially (HAHAHA) but things had a spark at the afterparty at zouk that night. Sweet little boy asked if he could send me home after our friends bailed out on us. He stays at sixth ave and I stay at tanjong katong and it honestly didn’t make much sense for him to send me home. He did anyway. We went for supper at a coffeeshop near my house and then he walked me home before asking for my number.:):)

First date only took place the following week at socialhouse because he’s an army boy. For the first time - we held hands that night and our first kiss happened. Kiss me thru the phone.:)

Silly boy texted me everyday and suddenly said “I miss you”. Asked me if we could talk on the phone so he could hear my voice because he missed me. That made me smile. Then he went outfield which got me so so worried because he was sick and didn’t have any means of contacting me.

Date following was to sentosa to catch our first sunset together. Awkward and shy moments were just oh so memorable and bashfully sweet.

During my internship, he would surprise me early in the morning on certain days with a cup of soya milk and sent me to work. But I’ll start getting upset because I’ll miss him so much. Then he had to go Taiwan for 3 weeks for ns. I sent him home after work at the airport. Cried because 3 weeks seemed really long at that time and he was the motivation throughout my internship. The trip was truly a test to our relationship with the restricted calls and some personal issues. I guess that was the first hiccup of our relationship.

Met his parents and he met mine and he would come over to my house to cook. And he would come to my school to pick me up at times, making me so happy.

Birthdays were spent with each other. Cliche meals and presents.

Things at that time just started to get really bad and I guess we didn’t really appreciate each other so we took a break on and off. I just know that during that whole time, my heart still has him in it but I had to force myself to try letting go.

But then he decided he still treasures the relationship as much as I do. So he starting proving to me how much I meant to him with occasional roses which I love and cards, basically the sweetest things a boy could ever do for a girl. Things started picking up and he would plan outings and my birthday was approaching at that time.

But unfortunately, my grandmother passed away just before my birthday. All his plans were scrapped and he had to search other ways to make my day special. On my birthday, it was the day of cremation. He waited patiently for me without any complaints and brought me to the beach in the night, lighted candles, sat me down on the mat with a party hat and birthday glasses. And a helium balloon. Bought a ring and a bouquet of roses with cards. Watched me cry and hugged me.

Then we would go to zoos and museums together like tourists.

Things started getting better. We went overseas respectively for a vacation. Me to Korea and he to Japan. Bought for each other loads of stuffs and finally, he got us couple rings.

Recently we went to USS and it was so freaking amazing because I’ve never been to a themepark with a bf and so hasn’t he. Took so many pictures and even though my stomach was cramping, his presence conquers every pain you can ever imagine.

Right now, I’m leaving for aussieland in 2 weeks and I can’t bear to leave him. I miss him already. He’s the one guy I love so so much and the only one I can’t bear to let go off no matter how much I was hurting. He can just make me feel so so comfortable in my skin and smile like a little girl. That charming cute face of his is my sedative and my sleeping pill. To the boy who makes my heart beat fast and slow at the same time: I love you baby. Hold on to me like how I’ll hold on to you. 3 years is gonna be a breeze for us. Even though I’m gonna miss you so so much, it’ll be for our better future. I wanna grow old with you and take strolls in parks hand in hand. I love you. The most.

I love you because you are who you are baby love.

(Source: misscouchpotato)

“ Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

— He’s Just Not Into You (via idareyoutoclickthis)

(Source: wordsandlyrics)

“ Boys are like purses. You’re always gonna have that one boy that you’re always comfortable with and you know you’ll always kind of like. That’s your purse that you wear everywhere. Then you have that gorgeous bag that you want everyone to see you with but the gorgeous bag is usually an asshole or costs a lot of money. Then you have those other purses that you really like but you really don’t want to be seen with.

— Lauren Conrad (via runawaytrain)

leilockheart:

By jennyology

(Source: leilockheart)

THIS IS FOR YOU AH MA. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL.<3

(Source: leilockheart)

(Source: gravityhappens)

I miss you so much.

Actually I didn’t intend to post this up on tumblr because it’s quite a private issue and it doesn’t do me and my family any good if i were to post it up. But I really can’t stand some fucked up fellow who used to be my uncle but all of my family members and I have decided to cut off all ties with that nbcb farking asshole.

It was a really tough week for my family on my dad’s side because my grandma passed away. I haven’t been sleeping and it’s taking its toll on my body right now. Time is really not on my side because my family and relatives were actually preparing for my grandfather’s leaving due to his health and cancer relapse. And all of a sudden, my grandma decides to leave us, we were totally unprepared and shagged.

That asshole refused to turn up on my grandma’s deathbed when ALL of us were there in the hospital, desperate and lost. It was apparent that she was holding on until her eldest son came. But when we called him, we were shocked to hear that he refused to come because of something he was unhappy with my grandfather. YES. You saw right. My grandfather. Nothing to do with my grandma but he decides to take it out on my grandma. My cousins first went down to his house. He refused to open the door and asked them to leave. Then my father and aunt went to his house to beg him to see my ah ma for the last time. He refused. Until my oldest aunt, who is the oldest of ALL 10 siblings went down to personally request for his presence, he finally came. But by then, she passed away.

So anyway, alot of preparations had to be done after my grandma’s passing. He left straight after she left us. The first day of the funeral, he came late and he wasn’t there when the body was brought back to us from the embalmer. He should have been there when we received the body. You know how heartwrenching that was? You have no idea. We are taoists. So we have a certain dresscode to adhere to. It’s to represent that we are mourning and it’s to respect my ah ma. That asshole and his family refused to wear because they say they are christians. Okay. Fine that you refused to wear it. He wore white tee with prints and beige berms. Obviously his son and bitch wife didn’t dress in our mourning clothes too.

The second day, he came and pretended to be so filial, pushing my grandfather around in a wheelchair. Like whatthefark? So during the funeral, we have all the rites and he refuses to hold the joss stick to offer to my grandma and refused to do the rounds on the pretext that he’s a christian. ALL my friends who came were christians or catholics BUT they all offered joss to my grandma. HE AS A SON REFUSED TO OFFER IT TO HIS OWN MOTHER! I KNOW YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN. BUT DID GOD ASKED YOU TO NOT PAY RESPECTS TO YOUR OWN MOTHER? ARE YOU SAYING THATS WHAT CHURCH HAS BEEN TEACHING YOU? People who are attending the Newcreation church, please don’t let such black horse disgrace your church.

Then he started creating a ruckus next to grandma’s coffin, saying my father and his siblings were not taking care of my grandfather well. And said that if one of my uncles don’t take care of my grandfather well, he’ll ask my dad not to give him any allowance. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO DO THAT? YOU NEVER EVEN COME UP WITH ANY SINGLE CENT AND ALL YOU DO IS TO TALK TALK TALK WITH THAT CHEEBYE MOUTH OF YOURS AND YOU WANNA TALK SO MUCH. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! MY UNCLE IS DOING SO MUCH EVEN THOUGH HE’S SICKLY HIMSELF. HE HAS BEEN TAKING CARE OF MY GRANDMA BEFORE SHE PASSED AND YOU AS THE ELDEST SON DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING. FUCK OFF. So my dad and aunts screamed at him asking him to fuck off. Know what he said? He said he wants to say this in front of his mother’s coffin to let her know. JOKE.

For us taoists, we believe in wearing white top and black pants at a funeral. No accessories, no nail polish, no make up and no dressing up. My youngest uncle’s wife asked the asshole’s bitch wife to remove her gold bracelet and watch because we are mourning and she retaliated by saying “I’M A CHRISTIAN WHAT”. The next day, she still turned up in those accessories and toenails painted in bright red. I’m speechless.

On the last night when we were doing the final rites and last night of respects, he commented that he doesn’t understand why we have to do all these when my grandfather is not well. WTF is that seriously? And on the last day when we were so damn upset and everyone were so dreading the moment of cremation, he did not turn up. IT WAS THE LAST DAY AND HE DID NOT TURN UP. And I thought every child would wanna be at their parents’ final goodbye.

Everyone cried at the last moment. He did not. Throughout the whole process, he didn’t drop a single tear. The next day which was the day on my birthday, when we went down to Mandai crematorium to collect my grandma’s ashes and bones, he didn’t turn up too. And today - which is the 7th day after the death of my ah ma, he turned up pretending to be so filial in front of my grandma’s brother from Indonesia who is really rich, probably hoping to get sth out of him. Cheapskate hypocrite.

Is that what christianity teaches you to do? To be a disgusting prick?

Because from what I know, from the christians around me, God definitely didn’t do that. And he is just using his religion as an excuse. I just hope his son can see what he’s doing and do the exact same thing to him. I know God is watching and he’s gonna get back every single thing that he has done to my ah ma. He is gonna suffer and die a terrible death. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL FOR THIS SHIT. EVEN GOD IS GONNA FORSAKE A FUCKER LIKE YOU FOR RUINING HIS NAME._|_

“ I miss you ah ma. I miss your innocent laughter. I miss you asking for food. I miss you hugging me. I miss you holding my hand. I miss teasing you. I miss scratching your back. I miss pushing you out for a walk on the wheelchair. I miss your lighted-up face when you see me. I miss you telling me I’m pretty. I miss you smiling. I miss combing your hair. I miss you whether you were healthy or not. I hope god has taken you to somewhere where pain no longer exist and you are no longer anywhere near a hospital. I know you’re not suffering anymore. But I wish I could just see your toothless grin for one last time because I love you.